Stout Beaver

I knew ice cream could make your lips sticky, but did you know it can also make you amorous? It can, and not just if you're licking it off a stranger's balls with Magic Shell topping, although we've all been there and it does work.

An ice cream which gets you in the mood for sex has been created in the UK. The Sex Pistol, dubbed 'vice cream', will be available from London store Selfridges when pop-up ice cream boutique The Icecreamists opens in September. The cold treat has ingredients including gingko, biloba, arginine and guarana as well as a shot of the intoxicating La Fee Absinthe. "the perfect apres shopping treat. Just one Sex Pistol will leave you feeling energized and confident - but please, don't pester the staff!" The ice cream will only be served to customers over 18 and each consumer is only allowed one in every visit.

Interesting concept, but know what else will get you ready for sex? ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING. Sexy Ice Cream [femalefirst] Thanks to AndyMac, who knows any food is sexy food. Spinach salad? BOOM -- pants are off and he's ready for action.

Let's face it, at one time or another we've all wanted to get stabby on a coworker. Sometimes the feeling is fleeting, but usually it's something we think about doing constantly and doodle pictures of. Enter the $20 Campco TacPen (the Tac stands for tactical, not taco, which -- I know -- is an even better idea).

The TacPen sports a rugged, weighty body made of high-​​grade aircraft alluminum and comes with two different crown attachments designed not only to throw some hurt on an attacker, but also to lock him (or her) behind bars when the doing's done. The most unique feature of the pen is that it employs the UZI DNA Catcher on the crown of the pen. The sharpened crown on the end can be used to jab or poke an attacker, which will not only cause extreme pain, but it will also collect the aggressors' DNA which can be used for future identification.

Ahhh, of course -- DNA identification. Call me old fashioned, but whatever happened to biting an attacker to collect DNA? Or tearing a limb off. Just sayin', one armed men are easy to identify. Back me up, Dr. Richard Kimble. Gimme Some Skin! [defensetech] Thanks to Nils, who once stabbed a coworker for eating the rest of his Subway sub from the community fridge. That shit was warranted.

This is a little collection of letters children wrote to God. Some ask fairly thought provoking questions, while others just spout their ignorance like this little moron. LEARN HOW TO SPELL! God hates mis-spellars. Plus Jonathans. Double whammy! Hit the jump for a bunch more of my favorites and the link to even more. And feel free to write your own in the comments, I know you're clever! Funny Dear God Notes [fillinn] Thanks to Fromton, who agrees little Jonathan is a moron and deserves to dunce it up in the corner for a bit.

The Micro S'mores machine is a piece of shit designed for cooking s'mores in the microwave. The secret is its "Core Fusion Technology" which is a jargonical (word wizardry!) way of saying it has a plunger that pushes the marshmallow down as it gets gooey. You get two of them for $20, plus shipping and handling. Now, as a guy who's been making s'mores in the microwave since middle school, I'll admit a little downward pressure while the s'mores cook is key to a good turnout. So here's what you do: break off the safety latch that prevents you from cooking with the microwave door open. You'll be able to stir things too! Hit the jump for a ridiculous commercial. Product Site Thanks to Calypso, who may or may not have held Odysseus captive for seven years (she totally did).

Paul Hazelton collects dust and then shapes it into things and calls it art. Me? I vacuum it up LIKE A NORMAL GOTDAMN PERSON. I swear, whatever happened to chiseling marble?

'I think it all has something to do with the fact that I was brought up in an immaculate environment that was really clean,' said Mr Hazelton. 'It all started when I noticed the dust on a mask and was able to pull it off. I started collecting dust and working with it, finding ways of turning it into three-dimensional structures.' 'Humans were supposedly made from dust, so it is interesting to create other things with it,' added Mr Hazelton, from Margate, Kent. 'It is a kind of recycling. The reaction of people when they see the art is one of incredulity.

Incredulity is right. As in, "THIS NUTCASE IS F***ED IN THE HEAD." Oh, and another thing -- I WAS NOT MADE FROM DUST, PAUL. I was made with cookie batter and star-sprinkles AND GOD BAKED ME PERFECTLY. Hit the jump for a shot of a briefcase and skeleton made out of the dust. Incredible sculptures made with dust [metro] Thanks to Add loves Elmo, who only collects bones.

Because there's nothing safer than mixing vodka and pills (or heavy machinery), the Ruskie imbibeable (word wizardry!) may soon be available in powdered/pill form. Look out, Pixie Stix! (Picture unrelated, liquid vodka in gel-tabs).

Russian professor Evgeny Moskalev of Saint Petersburg Technological University has evolved a technique that allows turning alcohol into powder and packing it in pills. "Dry" vodka can be wrapped in paper and carried around in a pocket or a bag. Vodka in form of a pill would come handy at parties when "consumers" would be able to calculate their exact required dosage. "Dry" vodka can be wrapped in paper and carried around in a pocket or a bag. Vodka in form of a pill would come handy at parties when "consumers" would be able to calculate the exact required dosage.

"...Calculate the exact required dosage"? For what -- puking on your shoes? No, I find this whole story a little suspect seeing how I already reported on powdered alcohol BACK IN APRIL. So, who really invented it, Mr. Evgeny Moskalev Cocktail?! It was God! Make it rain, big man, make it rain. Booze plague! Slip 'n Slide! Now, vodka that comes in a pill [timesofindia] and Picture [flickr] Thanks to Sasha, who once licked dry booze straight from the proverbial powdered alcohol cow's teat.

Allegedly there are several LEGO-themed television shows in the works. What does this mean? It means THERE ARE SEVERAL LEGO-THEMED TELEVISION SHOWS IN THE WORKS. Geez, stop trying to read into things, this isn't a mystery novel.

Variety reports that reality TV producer Scott Messick has teamed up with the Lego Group to build a series around the popular toy. Messick has plans to create several non-scripted programs -- including a documentary-style show about the "Lego Masters", three men who are paid to travel the world building huge Lego constructions, as well as a game show based on a line of Lego board games released in Europe. The theme park Legoland could also be the new home of a competition-based reality TV show in which contestants are eliminated on an episode-by-episode basis. In August, Lego announced that it is developing a live-action movie based on the toys."

Listen -- if they can make a show around LEGO, they can definitely make one about Geekologie, right? I mean, I do interesting stuff. Like this morning I got up and had a multi-vitamin with my coffee. It made my pee so green! Aaaaaand CUT -- that's a wrap. Lego: the reality TV show?! [yahoonews] Thanks to Grace, who is the textbook definition of herself.

Want an 8x zoom lens for your DSi because you're secretly a spy? Me neither. Want an 8x zoom lens for your DSi because you're in love with the receptionist at the free clinic and you want to candidly take pictures of her? You've got problems. But if you've also got $25 you can have the Nyko DSi Zoom Case, a case and lens that attach to your DSi and allow up to 8x zoom. Plus, it's super inconspicuous. Goodbye bow tie camera! Hit the jump for a shot of it's zooming capabilities and all the accessories. Nyko's DSi Zoom Case is A Little Bit On The Ridiculous Side (but I still want one) [albotas] Thanks to Moe, who doesn't even use the DSi camera because he has a photogenic memory. I've never seen such beautiful pictures of a memory in my life.