Stout Beaver

Apparently prostitution in Zurich, Switzerland has gotten so out of hand the police have decided to install private drive-in sex booths so the less perverse citizens of the city don't have to witness anybody getting a midday BJ in their Volkswagen. Not even kidding.

The idea itself is adopted from German cities like Essen and Cologne, and will be a way for prostitution to continue on behind closed, uh, doors. The boxes will serve as quickie drive-throughs, so-to-speak, and will free up city streets from unsightly acts that haunt Zurich residents whose homes overlook the city's red light district. "They get up to all sorts in broad daylight - and we're sick to death of looking at it," one resident told the U.K.'s Metro.

First of all, how're you gonna live in the red light district and complain about it? I thought it meant lots of stoplights, honest! Secondly, you better believe I'm setting up a prosty detailing service in the compound. HJ and a wax, $30! Switzerland Confidential: Behold the Legal Sex Drive-Thru [time] Thanks to Miss Bowser, who'd like to note, no, we won't do interiors.

I knew ice cream could make your lips sticky, but did you know it can also make you amorous? It can, and not just if you're licking it off a stranger's balls with Magic Shell topping, although we've all been there and it does work.

An ice cream which gets you in the mood for sex has been created in the UK. The Sex Pistol, dubbed 'vice cream', will be available from London store Selfridges when pop-up ice cream boutique The Icecreamists opens in September. The cold treat has ingredients including gingko, biloba, arginine and guarana as well as a shot of the intoxicating La Fee Absinthe. "the perfect apres shopping treat. Just one Sex Pistol will leave you feeling energized and confident - but please, don't pester the staff!" The ice cream will only be served to customers over 18 and each consumer is only allowed one in every visit.

Interesting concept, but know what else will get you ready for sex? ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING. Sexy Ice Cream [femalefirst] Thanks to AndyMac, who knows any food is sexy food. Spinach salad? BOOM -- pants are off and he's ready for action.

Note: Video is after the jump for fear of accidentally FATALITY-ING your ass all over the front page. This is a video making its way around the interwebs that appears to be an 8-minute trailer for an upcoming Mortal Kombat movie. Oooooor it may be some viral marketing for a new Mortal Kombat game. Which is it? I have no idea. It is incredibly well made though. Plus Reptile eats people's heads. Sick! Kidding, it's not any worse than a dog licking it's own a-hole. *ahem* CHLOE! Gimme kissies. UPDATE: Looks like it's actually a movie. Well, a PITCH for a movie. Per Jeri Ryan (of Star Trek Voyager fame), who played Sonja Blade:

It's not a game trailer. Actually was made for the director to sell WB on his vision for a reimagined MK film. I did it as a favor to a friend. No idea yet what WB's reaction to it was. And I'm not sure how you can contact WB...to push them to make it.

Eight minutes of worthwhile billable time awaits you after the jump. FINISH IT! Be sure to watch in full-HD if your netbook can handle it. Youtube and Jeri Ryan Explains Her Role as Sonya Blade in Mortal Kombat Rebirth Trailer [trekweb] Thanks to Roy, Jay3000, Rodrigo Cervantes, Furhan, Bill, redrumtd, Kent and ChickenNoodo, who memorized every fatality, babality, animality, brutality and friendship because they really enjoy humiliating their opponents. Damn, you guys are cold! I'm talking -- wait for it, wait for it -- Sub-Zero. Thanks to Leah for the update, I had already managed to drink away the memories of everything I posted yesterday.

That's not even Pikachu, that's a stoned-ass Garfield with no stripes after eating a whole pan of lasagna (LOL -- he loves that stuff!). Oh -- and to the maker: there comes a time in everyone's life when you realize your own limitations and focus on working within them. That time for you should have been before you made this. Just sayin'. Hit the jump for an equally questionable Sonic. NEW VEIN OF MATERIAL DISCOVERED: PAPIER MACHE CHARACTERS [ukresistance] via Please, Someone, Burn This Pikachu With Fire [kotaku] Thanks to sham, who actually has skills.

Because there's nothing safer than mixing vodka and pills (or heavy machinery), the Ruskie imbibeable (word wizardry!) may soon be available in powdered/pill form. Look out, Pixie Stix! (Picture unrelated, liquid vodka in gel-tabs).

Russian professor Evgeny Moskalev of Saint Petersburg Technological University has evolved a technique that allows turning alcohol into powder and packing it in pills. "Dry" vodka can be wrapped in paper and carried around in a pocket or a bag. Vodka in form of a pill would come handy at parties when "consumers" would be able to calculate their exact required dosage. "Dry" vodka can be wrapped in paper and carried around in a pocket or a bag. Vodka in form of a pill would come handy at parties when "consumers" would be able to calculate the exact required dosage.

"...Calculate the exact required dosage"? For what -- puking on your shoes? No, I find this whole story a little suspect seeing how I already reported on powdered alcohol BACK IN APRIL. So, who really invented it, Mr. Evgeny Moskalev Cocktail?! It was God! Make it rain, big man, make it rain. Booze plague! Slip 'n Slide! Now, vodka that comes in a pill [timesofindia] and Picture [flickr] Thanks to Sasha, who once licked dry booze straight from the proverbial powdered alcohol cow's teat.

Apparently the Burj Dubai (the world's tallest building) can't stop getting hit by lightning. Well what do you expect being a half a mile tall? That's like a 7-foot woman walking around and people not yelling, "that's a huge bitch!" Also, this may or may not be Allah's way of saying, "Dubai -- this shit's getting out of hand" (It 100% is). Hit the jump for two more shots and a video of a lightning strike in action. The Burj Dubai Just Can't Stop Getting Struck By Lightning [gizmodo]

This is what a toot likes like under thermal imaging. Looks kind of like a ghost, don't you think? The ghost of dinners past! Get it?! Me neither. Also, I totally just made you stare at a man's ass. Women don't do that! Right? Women don't do that....right? Picture Thanks to Kelly, who thought it looked like musical notes.

This is a boob scarf made out of gym socks and what may or may not be dried apricots. They cost $45 and are available from Etsy seller Lourdesoftheflies. I think you only get one pair for that price though. RIPOFF!

almost look real! almost feel real! almost are real! great for winter!

If you can actually convince someone that these almost look and feel real, you could probably sell safety matches to the devil. That said, I bought two pairs just to be safe. Worse comes to worse I'll fill them with pennies and swing them around like nunchucks. Etsy Product Page Thanks to Rich Waffle_u, who better not waffle me unless he wants a face full of knuckles!

Because I love news heralding the end of the world as much as you do, I just read a large crack has recently formed in Ethiopia and may house a future ocean after the apocalypse of 2012.

A 35-mile rift in the desert of Ethiopia will likely become a new ocean eventually, researchers now confirm. The crack, 20 feet wide in spots, opened in 2005 and some geologists believed then that it would spawn a new ocean. But that view was controversial, and the rift had not been well studied. A new study involving an international team of scientists and reported in the journal Geophysical Research Letters finds the processes creating the rift are nearly identical to what goes on at the bottom of oceans, further indication a sea is in the region's future.

Note: That's not an actual photo of the crack there, that's just a picture I ripped off the internet. However, I will use this time to propose that the Grand Canyon will also house a future ocean. I called it first! Unless it doesn't happen, in which case it was your idea. Idiot. Giant Crack in Africa Will Create a New Ocean [yahoonews] Thanks to Josh, who's smart enough to know the oceans were created when God cried after realizing just how beautiful he'd made me.

Ever wanted a toilet seat that looks like a guitar? It's not high on my list of priorities either, but if you already have every other thing in the world maybe it's time for one. Jammin' Johns come in guitar and piano varieties and will set you back about $180. They go perfect in music themed bathrooms. Which -- oh God please tell me you don't have a themed bathroom. Unless it's beach themed, those are fine. I love the little shell soaps! Hit the shot for another guitar and a shot of a piano. Jammin' Johns: Musical Toilet Seats [uberreview]